New short story: Love in the Times of the Macrobiotic Müsli

Those of you who would like to see more German set stories will hopefully enjoy my latest offering. For Love in the Times of a Macrobiotic Müsli is set in Germany, West Germany to be exact, in 1982.

Now the early 1980s in West Germany were a time of protests, lots of protests against nuclear power and nuclear weapons, massive building projects, the public pledging of recruits and lots of other causes. It was also a time of fear, fear of nuclear war and unemployment and acid rain and dying forests and nuclear power. The early 1980s in West Germany were also the heyday of the peace and environmental movements, which eventually culminated in the founding of the Green Party.

Love in the Times of the Macrobiotic Müsli takes place during that volatile time and tells the story of two young university students, Katrin and Hans-Dieter, who meet during a protest march and manage to fall in love at a time when dealing with such basic human emotions was a tad more complicated than usual. It’s an epic tale of love, sex, politics and breakfast and it’s not to be taken entirely seriously.

Eventually, there will also be a German version, because if there ever was one story that begged to be translated, it’s this one. But for now enjoy the English version of Love in the Times of the Macrobiotic Müsli

Love in the Times of the Macrobiotic MüsliA Romance of the Counterculture

West Germany, 1982: Hans-Dieter and Katrin, both active in the peace and environment movement, meet at a protest march against a new nuclear power station and manage to fall for each other, while fleeing police truncheons, tear gas and water cannons.

Navigating the intricacies of romantic and sexual relationships is tricky in an era where the personal is political, heterosexual penetrative sex is tantamount to rape and he who sleeps twice with the same woman is already part of the establishment. But hormones will not be denied and so Hans-Dieter and Katrin embark on the adventure that is love in the times of the macrobiotic müsli.

Warning: This story contains descriptions of sexual activity using both bad nuclear war metaphors and the sort of words some people might consider crude.

More information.
Read an excerpt.
Length: 5000 words
List price: 0.99 USD, EUR or GBP
Buy it at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon Germany, Amazon France, Amazon Spain, Amazon Italy, Amazon Canada, Amazon Brazil, Amazon Japan, Amazon India, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes, Casa del Libro, W.H. Smith, Nook UK, DriveThruFiction, OmniLit/AllRomance ebooks and XinXii.
More formats coming soon.

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Making my Peace with the God of Thunder – Of Marvel’s Thor, Richard Wagner and Cultural Appropriation

Tor.com has some more amusing post Comicon reporting such as a whole lot of photos and videos of John Barrowman a.k.a. Captain Jack Harkness kissing a whole lot of more or less famous people of various genders and species. The photos of John Barrowman with Nathan Fillion or Misha Collins probably set off a flurry of Captain Jack meets Malcolm Reynolds or Captain Jack meets Castiel fanfics. Not so sure about the pic with Wil Wheaton (though his expression is hilarious), because I don’t think there is a huge demand for Captain Jack/Wesley Crusher fics.

I also loved the story behind Tom Hiddleston’s surprise appearance as Loki (in character and full regalia) at this year’s Comicon. Turns out Tom Hiddleston wore a full Jango Fett costume during the whole flight from London to San Diego to keep the surprise, which must have been incredibly uncomfortable. Though I would have loved to see the faces of passengers and crew when they found themselves faced with Jango Fett. But considering the rather humourless and non-pop-culture savvy business people often found in business and first class, a lot of them probably would have no more idea who Jango Fett is than who Tom Hiddleston is. My Dad most certainly wouldn’t have recognized Jango Fett. In fact, I was surprised that he recognized Yoda when I wore a Yoda t-shirt while visiting my parents.

On a related note, also at Tor.com, Emily Asher-Perrin analyses the various subtle and not so subtle changes in Thor’s and Loki’s respective outfits and comes to the conclusion that their armour/costume is probably a form of energy, which they can manipulate at will, and that both Thor and Loki are probably running around naked underneath their energy armour (Just think of the reams of incest fic inspired by that image). Her theory is supported by the fact that when Thor is stripped of his powers and expelled to Earth, he is naked.

Interestingly, the likeable portrayals of Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston as Thor and Loki respectively have also achieved something I hadn’t thought possible. They finally caused me to make my peace with the Marvel Comics incarnation of Thor or as I sometimes call him, “the hammer of cultural appropriation”. Continue reading →

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Interview with Writer K.S. Augustin a.k.a. Cara d’Bastian

Kaz AugustinToday, I continue my irregular series of interviews with international indie writers and welcome K.S. Augustin a.k.a. Cara d’Bastian to my blog. K.S. Augustin’s indie publishing venture Sandal Press celebrates its second anniversary in August.

1.      Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m of Portuguese Eurasian descent, born in Malaysia, although I am an Australian citizen. (Not a Real Australian(tm) mind you, just a citizen! 😉 ) I’ve been in publishing, one way or another, for more than twenty years, although I only seriously began writing fiction six years ago. After working in Australia, the USA and Singapore these past few years, we’ve now settled in Johor, which is at the southern tip of peninsular Malaysia and only ten kilometres from Singapore…less if you can swim!

2.      Tell us a bit about your works

My first love is SF. I grew up on SF, I owned an SF&F bookshop, we have hundreds, if not a couple of thousand, SF books and books on SF. So, I write it, as simple as that. The book I’m most proud of is War Games, a political SF romance. The book that I think is the most fun is Quinten’s Story, a space opera with romantic elements. I’m working on the sequel at the moment (Quinten’s Revenge), so I suppose Quinten’s Story is the one that’ s uppermost in my mind.

Quinten's Story by K.S. Augustin3.      What was the inspiration for Quinten’s Story?

It was the response to War Games from literary agents. “Oh,” they said, en masse, “it has lesbians in it… Yeah, interesting story and all that but (shrug) we can’t sell lesbians.”

And I thought, why should it make a difference? Okay, the story touches on two people falling in love on an alien battleground, but why should it matter whether they’re heterosexual or not? To me, it was irrelevant, but obviously not to anyone else.

“Have you got anything else?” they asked.

So I sat down and wrote Quinten’s Story, my idea of a rollicking space opera. Surely, that should get a better response, I thought. And they said, “Oh, it has romance! But it’s also SF. But it has romance! And I know it’s SF but…it has romance!” Times have changed, but those were the responses at the time, and it was dispiriting, to say the least.

So I sat on the novel for a while, revisited it, polished it up, sent it to my two editors, and finally published it through Sandal Press in 2012. What seems to have bothered agents hasn’t bothered those readers who’ve been kind enough to post reviews on the two books, so I figure I’m ahead.

War Games by K.S. Augustin4.      You write in several genres, namely space opera, SF romance, fantasy, contemporary South East Asian set erotica and non-fiction travel writing, mostly under the same name. According to conventional indie wisdom (Build your brand, write what’s hot, only write in one genre, preferably a series – which BTW is conventional trad publishing wisdom), this is a big no-no. So why did you decide to buck this conventional wisdom?

The stuff under the Augustin name is mainly for adults, whether space opera, erotica or even travel. My sweet stuff, like the urban fantasy series I just finished, is under the name of Cara d’Bastian so that, basically, anyone can read it. I suppose I’m just drawing a line in a different place.

5.      Do you see any crossover sales between the different genres that you write in?

Nope.

6.      Have you ever experienced any negative repercussions of writing both erotica and non-erotic fiction under the same pen name?

Well, I’m lucky in that I don’t live in the United States, so I don’t have to worry about *gasp* a work colleague finding out I sometimes write erotica and thus contribute to the decline and/or destruction of Christian civilisation as we know it. Everyone else outside the US that I’ve spoken to, even here in Muslim Malaysia, seems to have a pretty balanced view of my work and what I write. There are some giggles but, so far, no faggots assembled or stakes pounded into the ground, for which I’m grateful.

7.      In my experience, indie publishing and the e-book revolution has been a particular boon to international authors such as ourselves who live far from the centres of the English language trad publishing industry. Would you agree?

Oh absolutely, Cora! If indie and digital publishing hadn’t come along, I think I would have ended my life full of regrets and self-recrimination. Right now, I have friends and colleagues across the globe (like you!) and I wonder how I’d stay sane without the technological advances within, and without, publishing.

Just to go off on a philosophical bent for a moment, the very fact that an avenue exists that is outside traditional Western publishing means that many more voices and perspectives can be heard and appreciated. Readers no longer need to only accept what they’re spoon-fed at major chain stores; a radically different read is only two clicks away on their computer or even smartphone.

Where I think things haven’t equalised is in the area of language itself. As much as I would love to release Finnish or Spanish or Chinese versions of my work, there is an equally tough road for those authors who don’t know English in trying to reach a bigger audience. I wonder if the rise in digital and independent publishing means that, in the end, we will (globally) settle on a de facto language standard. At the moment, that looks to be English but, whatever it is, I think that people’s knowledge of each other can only benefit from being presented with greater, rather than fewer, points of view.

The Check Your Luck Agency by Cara d'Bastian8.      Did you ever pursue traditional publishing? And if so, what were your experiences?

Yes, I did, as I mentioned earlier. I got personal replies from literary agents, telling me to keep in touch with them. I got requests for fulls. I even got a contract from a respected small press.

What I didn’t like about the agents’ way of doing business (and I separate that from the agents themselves, who appeared to be nice enough) was that it was obvious they were after low-hanging fruit; in other words, quick wins, fast money. If a book straddled genres (as mine tend to do), then they weren’t interested. They wanted “pure” sf or “pure” romance; Quinten’s Story got rejected by several agents purely because of the romance in it. Agents liked my writing, liked my style, liked the pacing, but hated the “romantic elements”. I think that’s changed with the incredible recent rise in popularity of SF romance (and SF “with romantic elements”) but that wasn’t the case even three short years ago.

As for the trad press contract, it was abominable! Really, I’m surprised they didn’t ask for my first-born along with the manuscript! It was really really tough but, in the end, I turned down the contract. That was for War Games, which ended up being my first Sandal Press release (2011). It meant losing money short-term, but I figured I’d gain more long-term. Give me a few more years and I’ll tell you if I was right!

9.      One of my most striking trad publishing experiences was that it was very difficult to sell fiction set outside the US or “approved” foreign countries such as the UK, especially if said non-US/UK set fiction does not match common US clichés about the country in question (i.e. Germans are allowed to write about Nazis and maybe fairytales. We’re not supposed to write anything else). However, several of your books are set in South East Asia. So how did traditional publishing react to those books? And how did readers? 

Without a doubt, the digital-first publishers are much more open-minded regarding non-stereotypic conventions, compared to the traditional publishers. Let me say that up front. I didn’t even attempt to shop my Asia-based urban fantasy around the trad pubs because, from the controversies that raged at the time about whitewashing covers and difficulties with major protagonists being non-white, I knew I didn’t stand a chance. (There’s only one white character in the series, and he’s a ghost!) I also knew that a digital-first house would take it. But I wanted more! And, because basically I have a huge ego and tend to psychologically resemble a steamroller at times, that’s how Sandal Press was born.

The reaction to my books from readers has been very positive, I’m glad to say. Of course, a whole swag of people absolutely hated the way I’d end each of my Check Your Luck books (the urban fantasy series) on a cliffhanger, but prevailing opinion is more positive than negative and now that I’ve finished that series, I’m a lot more relaxed about it.

I could talk about how capitalism automatically (yes, automatically!) leads to the commodification of culture, and the pitfalls inherent in such a model regarding artistic creativity or even risk-taking, if we wish to generalise, but shall desist.

10. At the moment, there is a heated debate going on about sexism in the science fiction and fantasy community. One of the strands in that debate is the place of SF romance in the genre and how some men feel that female writers are polluting the rational purity of SF with their romance cooties. As someone who writes both space opera and SF romance, what are your thoughts on this?

They’re idiots.

In general terms, I find men much more sentimental and frivolous than women (seriously, it’s one of the things I love about them…women are just so damn serious in comparison!), so this view emanating from a bastion of maleness is quite amusing. I suppose they sit around and talk about how butch they are and it all ends up being a self-supporting fantasy, bless their black cotton T-shirts.

A German counter-terrorism expert (back in the days of the monthly airplane hijacks by every secessionist/activist and their pet ferret and the inevitable landings in Munich, Berlin or Beirut; do you remember those, Cora?) used to instruct his teams to shoot the women terrorists first, because they were much more ruthless and focused than the men. If we go back even further, to the Indian and Arab epics and even in Celtic mythology, we see women respected and, to some extent, feared for their unflagging energy, determination and appetites both in, and out of, bed.

Of course, I remember those hijackings, including the bit that the women terrorists were supposedly the most ruthless. The same was said of East German border guards ironically.

With this in mind, the idea of “a man” as some strong, fearless individual with no emotional ties whatsoever and SF as a channel through which strong, fearless men with no character, eternally stoic and aloof, Go Have Adventures is so asinine, it’s laughable. And I can prove it!

Let’s say that a male writer of certain prejudices (and I know their criticisms, and I know the writers, and I’ve read their books) sits down to pen an SF novel. Obviously, the protagonist is a man. The hero only deals with men, usually involving fists or blasters first, followed by a bonding Aldebaran ale between them. His best friend is a man (platonic, of course). Even the (important) aliens he meets are male. The writer tells everybody around him that this isn’t some kind of germ-ridden romance but “real SF”. Well, in that case, shouldn’t the protagonist be a robot?

If the writer is serious about not having anything to do with yucky emotion, about somehow being “above” that, then why write about a human male character at all? But, somehow, we don’t get a robot protagonist, do we, despite the fact that the complete lack of any characterisation would seem to indicate one as the top choice. We get a tall, handsome, self-sufficient human with iron self-control, quicksilver reflexes, an incredibly high pain threshold, and a metabolism that enables him to punch out the villain while  still in the throes of a debilitating space fever while recovering from being riddled with lasers, pumped full of hot shells and suffering the occasional hangnail. Younger (and they’re always younger) women adore him but he ditches them the minute they get needy/hysterical/irrational, while he himself either tups everyone in sight or has to hide himself away lest Teh Sexyness overcomes the entire female population of Deneb VII and they commit mass suicide due to the unassuaged yearnings in their weak, needy loins. Seriously, the only reason we don’t get any romance, or realistic emotion for that matter, in the story is because the hero is already so full of it, there isn’t room for any!

These are the guys who want to keep women away from SF? Give me a break!

11. Space opera has got something of a bad rap in the SF community as escapist and scientifically inaccurate fluff, even though space opera is the subgenre that the regular population most associates with SF. Why do you think is space opera so derided in the SF community? And what can we space opera writers do about it?

Yeah, it’s a bit like Yanni, isn’t it? Nobody admits to buying his concert tickets and yet he’s sold out all over the world! Bwahahaha!

I don’t know how to answer that question. I absolutely adore space opera, and I never listened to anyone who criticised it. It’s as simple as that, I just never listened to anything the critics had to say. The thing is, when you look at the top sellers at Amazon, right now at this moment go on go look!, space opera rules! Okay, a lot of it is Marty Stu stuff — or appears that way — but they’re still hitting the top positions with, for better or worse, fantastic reviews. Under those circumstances, I don’t think space opera writers need to do anything! Instead, I’m more likely to turn around to a critic who derides the genre in front of me (and that’s the only way I’d notice, tbh), and say, “Who the hell are you to say such things? Justify your position”, and see where it goes from there. My thought would be that the wheels would fall off their argument in short order. (Yeah, like Clive Cussler or even Salman Rushdie isn’t escapist. And “scientifically inaccurate”? Go tell Alistair Reynolds!)

12. At the age of ten, I spent four months in Singapore and Malaysia and one of the things I liked most (aside from being able to go swimming whenever I wanted to) was the food. So what’s your favourite Malaysian dish?

LOL. Yeah, you’re right. We put in a small spa pool recently, and I can barely lever the kids out of it on a daily basis!

As for the food, I blogged about this a couple of years ago. I said that one reason I am able to keep my weight more or less stable is because…I don’t eat the food! There are only so many noodle dishes you can face before it palls. And not only is the food incredibly unhealthy and full of sugar (Malaysians have the highest incidence of Type II diabetes in the world), but too much raw produce comes from China. Because it’s cheap, the restaurants of course buy it and so, of course, I try to avoid the restaurants as much as possible. I’m more interested in raw ingredients and there just isn’t a culture here for fresh, top-quality produce. Chicken pieces that are turning green sells! So does meat that has hair and pieces of wood mixed into it! I wouldn’t believe it, except I’ve seen it for myself. I hate my grocery trips because there’s so little of anything of quality to buy. I tackled this issue as well in a blog post  and residents who chimed in agreed with me.

Having said that, when we left California, I missed the Mexican cheeses and ingredients. When we left Australia, I missed the quality and abundance of its meat. In Singapore, when Carrefour still catered for expats, I loved the imported French cheeses (alas!, no more). I daresay when we leave Malaysia, I shall miss some of the local ingredients, such as the different types of sugar (palm, rock, red, etc.) and the abundance of fresh spices. And imported Iranian pistachios are the best I’ve tasted anywhere!

13. Is there anything else you want to tell our readers?

Yes! Here’s my big moment of self-marketing…um…er…nope, my mind’s a blank. I would like to thank you for having me at your blog, though, Cora. It’s always fun being as obnoxious and opinionated as possible! And best of luck with your own venture, Pegasus Pulp!

KS Augustin’s website: www.KSAugustin.com

KS Augustin’s blog: blog.KSAugustin.com

Sandal Press website: www.SandalPressOnline.com

Sandal Press blog: blog.SandalPressOnline.com

Sandal’s Twitter account: @SandalPress

From the first to the eighth of August, Sandal Press will be holding a birthday sale. Every release not already free will be reduced to 99 cents! For one week only! The stores participating are: Amazon, Kobo, OmniLit/AllRomanceEbooks and Smashwords. Thank you.

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Too Bloody Hot Linkdump

Tor.com sums up all the important stuff that happened at this year’s San Diego Comicon. Love Loki assembling his army in the middle of a “Marvel films” panel. I never much cared for Loki in the comics (or Thor for that matter), but Tom Hiddleston is a delight in the role.

iO9 has a neat article about what to call (hypothetical) aliens from other planets of our solar system. In the aborted space opera epic I conceived in my teens, “terrestrial” was the PC term for people from Earth, while “Earthman” or “Earthwoman” was offensive, which regularly confused clueless Earthpeople.

The New Yorker has a nice article on book cover design and how modern book covers often seem so bland compared to pulp magazine and mass market paperback covers of the early 20th century. I very much agree, but then I am very fond of pulpy cover design.

Salon interviews Shawna Trpcic who worked as a costume designer on most of Joss Whedon’s oevre as well as on Torchwood (I presume the US co-produced season 4).

T-Online reveals the possible truth behind the legend of the Flying Dutchman.

More odd news from T-Online, which is a treasure trove of odd headlines in general such as “minister bitten by poisonous snake” (in Panama) or “Football referee beheaded by irate fans” (in Brazil): A potential grave of suspected vampires has been unearthed in the town of Gliwice in Poland. The skeletons were found with their heads chopped off and their bodies covered with heavy stones and without any personal effects at all. Of course, the dead might also be execution victims, since the mass grave was located near the former town gallows. Still, there is a story idea in this somewhere.

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Just Strangle the Damned Cat! – The Problem of Formulaic Storytelling

Yesterday I blogged about how I don’t much care for what is currently considered “quality drama” in the US and that I find many of the regular, non-prestigious TV dramas, cop shows, police procedurals and the like, inferior to similar programs that aired in the 1980s and 1990s. And one of the reasons why the average cop show of today is less enjoyable than the average PI show of the 1980s is that today’s US cop shows and police procedurals are just so damn formulaic and predictable. Most of the time, I can tell whodunnit at around the fifteen to twenty minute mark, which regularily amazes friends and relatives who are less savvy with regards to current conventions of televised storytelling, as practiced in the US.

I had also long since figured out the culprit for the predictability of many routine American TV dramas (Like I said, I usually know whodunnit within twenty minutes or do), namely the fact that way too many screenwriters today adhere to the magical formulae peddled by screenwriting gurus such as Blake Snyder and Robert McGee. Nor am I the only one to have come to this conclusion for Slate has an article on how screenwriting guru Blake Snyder’s book Save the Cat! caused Hollywood films to become increasingly formulaic. The Slate article refers to summer blockbusters, but the underlying problem applies just as well to many TV shows.

Now the article is somewhat unfair in putting the blame solely on Blake Snyder and Save the Cat! (though I’ve been heard to mutter “Can we please just strangle that damned cat already?”, when watching yet another totally predictable installment of CSI), because while Snyder laid out a page by page formula for a successful screenplay, he did not invent that formula. Indeed, Blake Snyder’s “beat sheet”, kindly reproduced by Slate, is strikingly reminiscent of the granddaddy of all storytelling formulae, the Campbellian hero’s journey. Now The Hero with a Thousand Faces came out in 1949 and Joseph Campbell did not invent the hero’s journey either, but distilled it from analysing the myths of several world cultures and religions. So the basic monomyth pattern is as old as storytelling itself.

What is more, there is a reason why the hero’s journey is so damned dominant in storytelling: Because it works. It works and it has worked for thousands of years. My MA thesis has a chapter on Joseph Campbell and the monomyth. In that chapter, I detect the basic monomyth pattern in various SF novels and films. At around the same time, I also checked some of my own works against the Campbellian hero’s journey and detected the pattern in most of them, down to details such as threshold guardians (I rarely have mentor figures, though, cause I have never trusted them). I was stunned because I had never consciously tried to write a monomyth story – indeed I heartily distrusted any sort of storytelling formula. Yet somehow I had managed to produce variations on the monomyth time and again, several of them written before I had ever heard of Joseph Campbell and the monomyth. For even though I had never consciously tried to write a monomyth story and had never read Campbell, until I wrote my MA thesis, I had nonetheless consumed and enjoyed hundreds of stories conforming to the basic monomyth pattern over the years. I knew how stories worked, because I had read and watched so many of them (including quite a few of the myths Campbell based his original theory on, since I went through a huge mythology phase in my teens). And when I started telling stories of my own, I subconsciously applied the ingrained patterns I knew from the stories I had consumed.

Plot was always an aspect of writing that I was good at. A lot of beginning writers produce plotless vignettes of beautiful lyrical prose (or what the writer considers beautiful and lyrical), but I never did. I told stories. Indeed, in creative writing class at university I sometimes got in trouble for imposing a plot on plotless vignettes of beautiful prose (when told to describe an ugly vase, I wrote Courier Duty) and even writing poems with a plot. Why? Because I had consumed a lot of stories and my main drive for writing was the wish to tell stories.

Now it is almost as popular to hate on Joseph Campbell and Gustav Freytag for that matter (usually Freytag haters are people who have never even bothered to read Freytag and know only his pyramid and besides, they heard somewhere he was an anti-semite – which is wrong BTW) as it is to hate on Blake Snyder and Robert McGee. For an example, check out this sequence of four posts by writer Paul Jessup. There probably are more posts along those lines scattered throughout his blog, but I could only find four.

However blaming Gustav Freytag or Joseph Campbell or Robert McGee or Blake Snyder for the sorry state particularly of filmic storytelling is unfair. To quote a comment I made on one of the Paul Jessup posts linked above:

I think a large part of the problem is that a lot of people have never actually read what Gustav Freytag or Joseph Campbell wrote, they just know the Cliff’s Notes version that was condensed and boiled down a dozen times. Campbell analyzed various myths and found common themes. The one diagram in The Hero with a Thousand Faces actually shows a cyclical form rather than a linear plot. And while Gustav Freytag came up with the pyramid that bears his name, he did not even take his own advice, as anybody who has ever read Die Ahnen, a mammoth cycle of six massive volumes meandering across centuries, can attest.

I still agree with this comment almost two years after I wrote it. Because the problem are not Joseph Campbell and Gustav Freytag, both of whom wrote scholarly analyses of dramatic literature (Freytag) and mythology (Campbell) respectively and never set out to create a formula for successful fiction or write a how-to-book, but those who condensed and simplified and often misapplied their findings. And let’s not forget that even though The Hero with a Thousand Faces was published in 1949, fiction and screenwriters only jumped on Campbell’s theories within the last approx. 15 years. The earliest recommendation I have seen for The Hero with a Thousand Faces as a book that explains how to tell stories successfully is in a Ben Bova essay from the 1970s. And while George Lucas famously claims to have extensively consulted Campbell’s monomyth, while writing Star Wars, I for one have never seen or heard Lucas mentioning Campbell until the late 1990s, shortly before The Phantom Menace came out. Did George Lucas read The Hero with a Thousand Faces back in the 1970s and consciously applied Campbell’s findings to create Star Wars? It is possible. But it is equally, if not more likely that George Lucas came up with a cracking adventure story that hit all the right notes on his own, because he had consumed a whole lot of stories over the course of his life.

However, it was only after George Lucas credited Joseph Campbell as providing part of the inspiration for Star Wars that fiction and screenwriters started to jump on Campbell. And since Campbell isn’t all that easy to read, not to mention that he was writing about mythology not modern genre fiction or Hollywood blockbusters, several how-to writers took it upon themselves to translate Campbell’s findings into a jargon more suited to contemporary storytelling. Hence, we get Campbell-lite books such as Christopher Vogler’s The Writer’s Journey or James N. Frey’s How to Write a Damned Good Novel as well as the already mentioned Story by Robert McGee and Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder, which offer step by step outlines and formulae.

Now formulaic storytelling isn’t necessarily bad in itself either. In the sidebar, I link to Lester Dent’s pulp fiction masterplot and I own a copy of Plotto – The Master Book of All Plots by William Wallace Cook, both of which coincidentally predate Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces. One of my all-time favourite TV shows is The A-Team, which is formulaic as hell. And as Jennifer Crusie points out, even sonnets are formulaic, yet no one calls Shakespeare a hack.

As with pretty much every bit of writing advice, the problem with those step-by-step plotting guides is not that they exist, but that writers (as well as editors, agents, producers, directors, head writers, etc…) slavishly adhere to them, often without really understanding the reasoning behind what they are doing. The result are films and TV shows and novels that are totally predictable, because they follow formula X laid out by Blake Snyder or Robert McGee to the letter. You don’t even need to read Save the Cat!, you only need to have watched enough films that follow the formula to be able to predict what will happen and who is the killer.

Some time ago, a supposed editor on a self-publishing forum fervently recommended Save the Cat!, because it will help writers to recognize all “fluff” in their novels and cut it out. And I cried, “No! I like fluff.” Because to me, the fluff that gets cut is often the most interesting or memorable bit of the book/film.

I rarely bother with DVD extras, but I always watch the deleted scenes. Now conventional wisdom is that deleted scenes were deleted for a reason, because they are useless fluff. However, while watching deleted scenes I often find little gems of characterization that got left on the cutting room floor (and in the case of a season 1 Torchwood episode, a deleted scene that actually contained crucial information for understanding the whole damned episode), while a self-indulgent but expensive fight or chase scene was left in. So in many cases, the “fluff” that was cut was actually the best thing about the film/book/TV episode.

And indeed the fact that we can no longer have any fluff is one of the reasons why TV shows are so damned predictable these days. Because every line, every single word has to serve a purpose, you automatically know that the throwaway line of the police chief about a wave of burglaries on XXX Street or the prison guard’s phone call to his wife in the background will inevitably turn out to be a vital clue to solving the case. Because in a modern crime drama, there never are any throwaway lines anymore. No one ever has a conversation that does not directly pertain to the plot. Fluff must be cut, everything must serve a purpose. Coincidentally, this is also why so many works these days fail the Bechdel test. Because any character and any sort of conversation that has no direct impact on the plot is cut.

Now cutting “fluff” is very much in keeping with the ideal of lean and masculine prose that is sadly dominant in Anglo-American storytelling thanks to the unholy trinity of Strunk and White, Ernest Hemingway and Elmore Leonard, who have probably done more damage to English language storytelling than Joseph Campbell, Robert McGee and Blake Snyder combined. I particularly dislike Elmore Leonard’s much quoted ten rules for writing and especially I dislike No. 10 “Leave out the parts that readers skip”. Readers are individuals, so how the hell can Elmore Leonard or anybody else for that matter know what they will skip? All Elmore Leonard knows is what parts he skips. Which aren’t the same parts that I skip. For example, I like the goofy, awkward and quiet character moments that frequently get cut in the quest to get rid of the bits that readers skip and viewers fast forward through. Meanwhile, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of gratutious fight and chase scenes, unless they are really well done.

Now this does not mean that Elmore Leonard’s writing rules are bad advice. Elmore Leonard does make some useful points and indeed pretty much every writing advice book out there makes some good points. It’s slavish and unquestioning adherence to those rules that is the problem.

Why is George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire cycle so popular, both in written and televised form? It’s because the story is so damned unpredictable and because things don’t happen the way they are supposed to. The execution of Ned Stark and the Red Wedding are such shockers, because such thing are not supposed to happen. They violate the ingrained storytelling patterns. And if all a writer ever does is follow some kind of step by step masterplot outline, he or she may well produce a decent story or five. But they will never ever write a Red Wedding.

Some time ago, I chanced to watch an interview with Swiss writer Martin Suter on TV. In the course of that interview, Suter chanced to mention Story by Robert McGee. And I just sat there, totally stunned, and thought, “Wait a minute, Martin Suter has read Story by Robert McGee. Now that totally does not compute, cause Suter is not that sort of writer.” But then I thought, “Why the hell shouldn’t Martin Suter read Robert McGee? He is a writer, so why shouldn’t he consult all the writing advice books that are out there? After all, no one said that he had to follow McGee’s advice to the letter.”

The problem are not Joseph Campbell or Robert McGee or Blake Snyder. The problem are not patterns and formulae of storytelling. The problem are writers who slavishly follow those formulae without ever questioning them. And the problem are editors or producers who force writers to follow those tried and tested formulae without question.

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Some Reflections on the 2013 Emmy Nominations and the State of US Television in general

The nominations for the 2013 primetime Emmy awards have been announced. Some love for Game of Thrones, which makes me happy, particularly the acting nominations for Diana Rigg (who stole pretty much every scene she was in), Peter Dinklage (his Tyrion is still the highlight of the show) and Emilia Clarke (I would have preferred Maisie Williams, but Daenerys is always worth watching as well). I’m also happy to see Morena Baccarin nominated, but couldn’t they have found a better show for her? Some love for Mad Men, which I watch, but which seems nominated by reflex these days, because honestly, it’s not that good. Lots of inexplicable love for Homeland, Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey, The Good Wife and Girls, all of which I find unwatchable, and several nominations for shows I have never heard of. I mean, there is a TV show called Bates Motel? Honestly? Someone felt the need to make a prequel to Psycho? Why, for goodness’ sake?

I also wonder how the BBC adaption of Ford Maddox Ford’s Parade’s End managed to garner several nominations, since everybody I know who’s seen it flat-out hated it, including avid fans of nostalgia television a la Downton Abbey and avid fans of Benedict Cumberbatch. Of course, the problem with Parade’s End is that it’s simply the wrong choice of book to adapt. Now I must applaud the BBC for adapting something other than Jane Austen, Charles Dickens or the Bronte sisters once in a while, but Parade’s End? Honestly? Cause for contemporary audiences it’s impossible to feel any sympathy or indeed anything except violent loathing for the lead characters. You can cast Benedict Cumberbatch and hire Tom Stoppard to write the script, but that doesn’t make the book any more palatable. Some works are best left unadapted.

I’m also really not understanding the nomination criteria here. For example, the US version of House of Cards has snagged several nominations, probably because there are famous people like Kevin Spacey or Robin Wright involved. However, the US version of House of Cards was a straight to video series produced by US streaming video company Netflix. It never even aired on TV, so how can this be nominated in an award for TV programs? One of the comedies is apparently a web series as well, but I’m fuzzy on the details, since I don’t watch comedies. And Behind the Candelabra, the Liberace biopic which apparently shocked Americans by revealing that Liberace was gay (You mean there were people who didn’t know?), is a theatrical movie and even premiered at Cannes, for heaven’s sake. Okay, so Behind the Candelabra apparently did not have a theatrical release in the US, probably because distributors did not want to shock Liberace fans by revealing that their idol was gay. But just because it didn’t have a theatrical release doesn’t make it a TV movie. No matter how good, theatrical movies, direct to streaming video shows and web series have no place in a television award.

Indeed, David Haglund makes a similar point with regards to Behind the Candelabra in this Slate article, which attempts to deconstruct the golden age of television myth. Now personally I agree that on average TV is better than the movies these days, but that’s because the current state of cinema is very bad, since Hollywood only knows two modes of production: Brainless blockbusters with lots of explosions, which are a bit too brainless for me, even if I want to like them, and Oscar bait prestige movies, which are as unwatchable as their TV cousins, the type of “quality drama” peddled by HBO and its ilk.

Now I have expressed my views on the HBO brand of “quality drama” exhaustively before. With very rare exceptions such as Game of Thrones (which is a wholly different beast from your usual HBO show) and Mad Men (which I watch for the costumes and set design and glimpse into the 1960s advertising world, not for the not very shocking travails of Don Draper), I neither like nor watch these shows. The drug and sex-fueled exploits of middle-aged male anti-heroes* don’t interest me, unless said middle-aged male anti-heroes are named Tyrion Lannister or Don Draper (and Don isn’t all that interesting compared to Peggy who should have been the star of the show). Whatever relevance American critics find in those shows eludes me. And indeed, it eludes most of my fellow Germans as well, for none of these award-winning quality dramas ever do well over here. Homeland is the latest one to flop, in spite of the TV station’s ever more insistent emphasis on the many Emmys and Golden Globes it won in the trailers they broadcast during the ad breaks of more popular shows.

Whenever one of those overhyped US quality dramas premieres on German TV, some of our critics dutifully attempt to explain why this is a must-watch show. Unfortunately, the appeal of the latest US quality drama usually eludes German critics as well, so they start parrotting the views of their American colleagues and blather about “complex plot structures” and “the golden age of television”, though it’s painfully clear that they have no idea why this program is supposed to be good. However, instead of admitting that the Emperor has no clothes, they just parrot the same old crap about the golden age of television. Though it’s telling that of late, many German newspapers and magazines have stopped reviewing foreign programs altogether and instead expound on whether Polizeiruf 110 is better than Tatort (Who cares? I haven’t watched either in twenty years).

In my view, the current time is not a golden age of television, quite the contrary in fact. The HBO type quality drama doesn’t work for me with very few exceptions and the bread and butter programming, the cop shows and police procedurals and glitzy primetime soap operas and SFF shows (what few there still are), simply aren’t as good as their counterparts in the 1980s and 1990s used to be. It’s not the golden glow of nostalgia either. Rewatching an episode of a 1980s or 1990s show, even one I didn’t particularly like, is almost always a more satisfying experience than watching a current show in the same genre. And interestingly, the rot started setting in around 2000, at exactly the point in time that is usually given as the beginning of this mythical golden age of television. Meanwhile, all of the really good TV shows of the past ten years came from Britain rather than the US. And even the UK is becoming less reliable as a source of really good TV, because ever since the success of Downton Abbey, it’s just one nostalgia laden costume drama after another, while the good shows either end or fizzle out, only to be replaced by more retro drama.

*And the protagonists of US quality drama are all male. The sex and drug-fueled exploits of more or less young women are reserved for comedies such as Sex and the City or Girls.

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Photos: Saarbrücken with bonus Stengel churches

As promised yesterday, here are some photos of my recent trip to Saarbrücken.

Now Saarbrücken is a bit of an oddity, for though the settlement dates back to Roman times, the current city was only created in 1909 by the unification of three smaller towns, including the original Saarbrücken (nowadays known as Alt-Saarbrücken). It was heavily bombed in WWII and suddenly found itself the capital first of the semi-independent Saar protecorate and then of the German state of Saarland after the war. Due to the combination of WWII bombing damage and suddenly finding itself a capital city, which involved a lot of administrational responsibilities and required a lot of buildings wherein to carry out said responsibilities, Saarbrücken suffers a lot from bad city planning and architectural decisions made in the 1950s and 1960s. We’ll see some of those later.

However, Saarbrücken is also reknown for its baroque architecture, courtesy of architect Friedrich Joachim Stengel. Though originally from Saxony-Anhalt, Friedrich Joachim Stengel worked mostly in the Saarland area and the neighbouring Alsace region, which is now French. And it was in the Alsace that I had my first contact with Friedrich Joachim Stengel and his work.

As I mentioned before, my great-grandfather hails from Alsace and I still have distant relatives there. When I was a teenager, I visited my Alsatian relatives with my family several times. We also visit a lady who had been a pen pal of my Mom’s, when they were both teenagers. This lady had a thing for churches, particularly churches built by Friedrich Joachim Stengel. And so she dragged us through half of Alsace to show off Stengel churches. And Friedrich Joachim Stengel littered both Alsace and Saarland with churches, most of them unremarkable village churches. This church in the Alsatian village of Hirschland, from where my great-grandfather hails, is a typical example. After seriously overdosing on Stengel churches as a teenager, my reactions to hearing the name of Friedrich Joachim Stengel is still a groan even twenty years later. Which is why I was surprised how beautiful some of his buildings in Saarbrücken were.

Coincidentally, the story of Friedrich Joachim Stengel also illustrates how fluid national and cultural borders are in border region between France and Germany along the rivers Rhine, Moselle and Saar. The conventional historical narrative these days is that the evil and imperialistic Second German Empire stole Alsace-Lorraine from France in 1871, but that France was totally not imperialistic for trying to snatch the Ruhr area, the Rhineland and the Saar area after WWI and again after WWII. The truth is a bit more complicated, because the whole area changed hands several times over the past couple of centuries (There are buildings in Saarbrücken that were damaged during the French revolution!) and was actually its own kingdom in medieval times, which lies probably at the root of the problem, since I for one can see certain cultural similarities in the areas which used to be part of the medieval kingdom of Lotharingia, no matter to which country they belong these days. Culturally and linguistically, the Saarland and the adjacent parts of Alsace are German and particularly the rural areas of Alsace are still German speaking (and the dialect spoken in the Saarland sounds very similar to the dialect spoken by my Alsatian relatives), though the bigger cities such as Strassbourg, Metz or Nancy are largely francophone. Pointing out “But they speak German in Alsace, so why shouldn’t it be part of Germany?” got me in trouble in 11th grade history class, because thou must not contradict the established historical narrative. And not to let the Second German Empire off the hook (because they were Imperialist jerks), they did not just snatch the German speaking parts of Alsace from France but also parts which were clearly French speaking but had interesting industries. And indeed an attempt to get control over the coal and iron ore deposits along the Rhine and the resulting heavy industry lies at the root of the longrunning border conflict between Germany and France. Interestingly, the conflict evaporated for good once the coal and steel industry lost its relevance and gradually died off in the 1970s.

But enough with the history lesson. Let’s have some photos: Continue reading →

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A Thousand Kilometer Round-Trip

I was away these past two days, because I took my oath as a court-approved certified translator. The background is that translations of official documents such as birth certificates, diplomas, etc… have to be certified. And certified translators need to be court approved. Due to the German federal system, the approval of certified translators is handled by the individual states which have varying requirements. However, due to recent legal changes, a translator certified in one state can do certified translations everywhere in Germany.

I’d been planning to get certified for a while now, ever since I interpreted at a wedding last October and really enjoyed the experience. Plus, I get requests to translate official documents and I’m not all that happy to send that business elsewhere.

Now the logical places for me to get certified would be Bremen and/or Lower Saxony. However, Bremen currently has no state law about the certification of translators. Lower Saxony has a law, but extremely expensive requirements such as forcing you to take a special class on legal translation (which is very expensive) before they will even consider approving you. But then a colleague told me at the monthly translators’ meet-up, “You know, it’s really uncomplicated to get certified in Saarland, if you have a translation diploma [which I do].” So I applied for certification in the state of Saarland and was approved (after a bit of trouble with a document that had gone missing in the post). And on Tuesday, I had an appointment to take my oath at the state court in Saarbrücken.

Now the Saarland is a bit of a historical oddity, the smallest of the German federal states except for the city states and the last to join (in 1957) before the reunification. It is located in the far South West corner of Germany, bordering on France and Luxembourg (the capital Saarbrücken is maybe twenty kilometers from the French border), was an independent territory twice in the 20th century and voted twice to become part of Germany and against becoming part of France (which wanted to gobble up the Saarland and much of the Rhine-Ruhr area after WWI and WWII because of the coal and steel industry there) or staying independent. Interestingly, I did see a couple of bilingual German-French roadsigns in Saarland as well as lots of cars with French license plates who had come over from neighbouring Alsace-Lorraine (which is partly German speaking).

More importantly, the Saarland and its capital Saarbrücken is also quite far away from Bremen. In fact, it’s 564 kilometers to get from my home to Saarbrücken. Include the way back and you have a thousand kilometer round-trip, to be accomplished in two days, with one car and two drivers. So basically, I spent a lot of time (six hours per trip) in a car to get to a city I had never visited before for an appointment that took barely one hour. Well, at least it was an adventure.

In some ways, this was the road trip I always wanted to take. Because when I was a teenager, my then best friend and I would sometimes ride our bikes to a bridge across the highway A1 and watch the cars and trucks go by. And I said to my friend, “You know, someday when I have a drivers’ license and a car, I’m going to get into the car and just drive down highway A1 for as far as it will go, all the way to Italy and the Mediterranean sea.

Now highway A1 does not go to Italy at all, which we didn’t know at the time, because my friend and I were both a bit fuzzy where the highway went beyond Münster (“Cologne, I think. There was a sign.”). But where highway A1 really goes is Saarbrücken. So I could get onto highway A1 in Bremen and drive all the way down to Saarbrücken on the same highway, except for the so-called Eiffel gap of approx. 25 missing kilometers where the highway was never completed.

However, it was no leisurely road trip, because if you have to cover 564 kilometers in a single day (twice), that doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to admire to scenery and the roadside attractions. And so time and again we’d drive either past places I knew were interesting (“In Münster there are still cages hanging from the tower of the church, in which they gibbeted executed heretics.” “Wuppertal has a steampunky suspension railway and I’ve never seen it.” “Would you believe that I’ve never been to Cologne?” “Hermeskeil – I was there on holiday when I was about twelve and they had this really cool aviation museum.” “The Roman ruins in Trier – I haven’t seen those since I was a kid.” “The Moselle is so beautiful.”) or tantalizing castles, abbeys and museums advertised via the brown tourist signs on the highway. Because no matter how fascinating the Westfalian Versailles or a 9th century Benedictine Abbey may sound, there’s still hundreds of kilometers to cover. And considering that the temperatures were about 26°C in Bremen and hovering around 30°C in Southern Germany, wandering around roadside attractions probably wouldn’t have been a great idea either way.

Though we still got to see at least some neat sights from the car. We passed the ADAC rescue services monument at the Kamener Kreuz interchange, which looks uncannily as is a bunch of angels have captured a rescue helicopter and are now carrying it off to be sacrificed to the great volcano god (It’s simply a weird monument, though I fully agree with the sentiment behind it). We passed the ruins of Volmarstein castle as well as a very massive war monument on a mountain high above the highway. We drove right past the BayArena football stadium (“Oh look, that must be the Cologne stadium.” – “Nope, it says BayArena.” – “Wait a minute, since when is Leverkusen a suburb of Cologne? Did you know that?”). We drove past Nürburg Castle and the Nürburgring formula 1 racetrack. We drove past Satzvey castle. We crossed the river Moselle and I caught a glimpse of the vineyards. And while circumventing a traffic jam on the highway, we drove through a lovely village called Monreal with two ruined castles looming overhead.

In Saarbrücken, it was much the same. We arrived around seven in the evening, had dinner and took a stroll along the banks of the river Saar afterwards. The next morning I walked down to the courthouse to take my oath and on the way back to the hotel I got to see some of the baroque architecture Saarbrücken is apparently famous for (photos are forthcoming). Then we got into the car and set off on the long drive back.

I wish we’d had more time and could have driven along the river Moselle, which is one of my favourite parts of Germany and the setting of a historical romance I’m working on. Or maybe driven across the border into France, to Alsace-Lorraine from where my great-grandfather hails and where I still have family. Or passed through Luxembourg into South Belgium, where I often was on holiday with my parents as a teen.

Still, I got my court approval and am now a certified translator. I’ll still have to get my official stamp done. You know, I always wondered why there still are stampmaker shops in the 21st century, even though we have e-mail now and stamps like that address stamp I had as a teen are kind of outdated. Now I know.

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Sick of Summer Linkdump

Sorry for the lack of blogging these past two weeks, but I have not just been insanely busy ever since the summer holidays began, but I also caught a nasty summer flu bug last week and have been pretty sick.

There’ll be more light blogging over the next few days, since I’ll be away on translation business and don’t know whether I’ll have internet access.

But for now, here is a linkdump of interesting links I found lately: Continue reading →

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A new cover for “The Other Side of the Curtain”

The Other Side of the Curtain was one of the three Pegasus Pulp launch titles and coincidentally also the first cover I ever created. That given, it’s not a bad cover. I even drove out specifically to a local junkyard to take the cover photo.

However, the photographic cover of The Other Side of the Curtain does not match the graphic cover of The Dark Lily very well, which is not a good thing, considering both novelettes are in the same series. So it was time for a redo. Continue reading →

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