The next Star Trek Strange New Worlds and Obi-Wan Kenobi reviews are coming, but I had another stressful day, relieved by the mailman (and it is a man) bringing me that elusive Masters of the Universe Origins Roboto figure, so here is another Master-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo story. I already posted a version of this story on Twitter, but this one has more dialogue. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.
Now Roboto has a bit of a strange history. He was an action figure in the 1980s, but he only had a handful of appearances in the original Filmation cartoon, where he was an alien explorer from a planet of robots who crashlanded on Eternia, was repaired by Man-at-Arms and wound up staying and fighting alongside He-Man and his friends.
ETA: I actually rewatched the episode that introduced Roboto and not only does he heroically sacrifice himself to save Man-at-Arms from Modulok’s brain-draining machine, Orko also points out that since Man-at-Arms rebuilt Roboto, that theoretically makes him Roboto’s father, so that’s where the link between Man-at-Arms and Roboto comes from.
The 2002 cartoon retconned Roboto’s origin and made him a sentient and intelligent robot built by Man-at-Arms originally as a chess partner for Man-e-Faces. However, Roboto wanted to be a warrior, upgraded himself and heroically sacrificed himself in order to save He-Man and all of Eternia from a plague of multiplying skeletons. Luckily, Man-at-Arms was able to repair him and so Roboto was frequently seen fighting alongside the other heroic warriors.
Masters of the Universe: Revelation tweaked Roboto’s backstory yet again. He’s still a sentient and intelligent robot who was built by Man-at-Arms, but in Revelation Roboto considers Duncan his father and Teela his sister and refers to them as such. He also heroically sacrifices his life yet again (heroically sacrificing himself seems to be what Roboto does) to reforge the Sword of Power in a scene that made me misty-eyed about a character I barely remembered from the original. And this time, Roboto isn’t repaired either, but permanently destroyed by the immense power discharge resulting from reforging the sword.
Proud papa: Duncan with Roboto and Teela
I probably wouldn’t have been all that keen on buying a Roboto action figure, if not for Masters of the Universe: Revelation. However, I liked him a lot in Revelation and besides, Roboto was the one member of the Man-at-Arms extended family I was still missing (except for Andra, of whom there is no figure at the right scale at the moment), so once I found one at a decent price (he’s quite difficult to find due to production and distribution issues), I of course snapped him up.
When I posed Roboto next to his family, I couldn’t help but wonder how Teela reacted, when her father decided to build himself a son. I imagine she wasn’t particularly happy about that, at least not at first. And indeed, in the 2002 cartoon Teela (who like Adam is younger and brattier in the 2002 version) repeatedly sends Roboto away when he wants to join her palace guards (cause for some reason, bratty sixteen-year-old Teela is still Captain of the Guard) and defend the palace and only comes to appreciate him, after he has heroically sacrificed himself to save Eternia.
So enjoy “Siblings”, a Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre story about Teela meeting her mechanical brother for the first time:
In Man-at-Arms’ workshop:
“Roboto is my greatest invention yet, Malcolm. I created him as a training robot for Adam and Teela and then upgraded him into a chess opponent for Man-a-Faces. But now he has gained sentience and become a fully sentient and intelligent cybernetic lifeform.”
“First the Attak Trak, then Stridor and now Roboto. Do all of your inventions gain sentience, Duncan? And does this mean my first will start arguing with me eventually?”
“Maybe it will even punch you in the face, Malcolm. Cause you sure have it coming at times. There, Roboto. You should be able to get up now.”
“Thank you, Father. I seem to be working perfectly. You built me well.”
“He calls you ‘Father’? Cause that’s not creepy at all.”
“He simply started calling me ‘Father’ and I guess technically, it’s not wrong, because I did build him. Besides, part of me always wanted a son. As a young man I always assumed that if I had ever children, they’d be boys. When I first held Teela, I didn’t even know what to do with a baby girl…”
“There. One last adjustment and you’re finished.”
“I am alive. Father, I am alive.”
“Yes, not creepy at all.”
“Roboto, meet my brother Malcolm.”
“Hello, Uncle Malcolm. It is such a pleasure to meet you. I have never had an uncle before.”
“Good having another warrior with a steel fist… ahem, axe in the family. Nope, this is not creepy at all.”
Meanwhile…
“Great. I knew I’m not what Father wanted and that he would have preferred a boy, but that he’d go as far as build himself a perfect metal son, because I’m not good enough…”
“Ah, Teela. Come and meet your new brother.”
“Hello Sister. It is so great to finally meet you. Father has told me so much about you.”
“Let me get one thing straight: You are not my brother. And Father, if you wanted a son, could you at least have picked one from the gutter like you picked me. Or better yet, picked a boy from the gutter in the first place? But no, you had to build this… this thing.”
“Well done, Duncan, well done.”
“Teela, what on Eternia…?”
“I’m done, Father. Be happy with your perfect robot son!”
“Hi, Duncan, I… Teela, what’s wrong?”
“Ask my father… sniff.”
“Teela, wait… Oh no, she heard everything I said about wanting a son, didn’t she?”
“Every word, Brother, every word.”
“Wait, it’s not what you think. What you heard was…”
“I’ve heard enough, Father.”
“I do not understand. Why does my sister not like me?”
“Don’t worry, Roboto, it’s got nothing to do with you and everything with my idiot of a brother.”
“Duncan, what’s wrong with Teela?”
“Sigh, she thinks I don’t love her and built Roboto to replace her.”
“But that’s not true… is it?”
“Of course not. I’ll go after her and try to explain.”
“No, I’ll go after Teela. After all, I have some experience with parents who think I’m a disappointment.”
In the palace garden…
“It’s not fair. I tried so hard to become the child my father wanted and then he builds that… that thing to replace me.”
“Hey, Teela…”
“Adam, can you just… sniff… go away, please? I… I think I’d like to be alone…”
“Not a chance. I’m not leaving my best friend alone, when she needs a shoulder to cry on.”
“I’m not crying.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Listen, Teela, I know how you feel. After all, my Dad and I don’t always get along either and I know that I’m very much not the son he wanted.”
“But your father never tried to replace you with a robot.”
“Sometimes I wish he would. A robot double to stand beside the throne and look regal during all those boring state functions would be great. Especially since I don’t even get a chair. I just have to stand there and look regal. A mannequin could do that job.”
“How is it that you always make me smile?”
“It’s my top secret superpower. But anyway, as someone who suddenly had a sister show up out of the blue, I know a thing or two about surprise siblings. And I know that you haven’t lost your father, but gained a brother.”
“Yes, but Adora is great. She’s amazing. I would be happy, if she were my sister. But Roboto…”
“Give him a chance. He may surprise you.”
“It’s not even Roboto I’m mad at. I mean, he’s a bunch of rivets and gears, so how could I be mad at him? It’s Dad I’m mad at – for making Roboto, because I couldn’t be the son he wanted.”
“You know that’s not true, Teela. Your Dad loves you… very much. Even if he wanted a son originally.”
“Could you just hold me, Adam?”
“Of course.”
“You know, sometimes I just want to get away from all of this madness.”
“That’s a great idea. Let’s away. Even if it’s only for a few hours.”
“Lieutenant, you’re in charge of palace security. Prince Adam and I are going to patrol the outer perimeter.”
“Again? I mean, yes, Captain.”
“Sister…”
“Oh no, not him.”
“I am sorry if I offended you. I want to be the best brother and the best warrior I can be.”
“Listen, Roboto, I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“I heard you are going to patrol the outer perimeter. I can come along and help. I am fully equipped for battle and my sensors…”
“No!”
“But I want to help.”
“Go away!”
“Look, pal, no offence, but this is not a good time. Teela and I want to be alone, if you know what I mean.”
“I do not understand. Why does no one like me? All I want to do is help, but my sister hates me, Prince Adam hates me, everybody hates me.”
“Don’t mind me. I’m just standing here, guarding the palace garden and soaking up some juicy gossip I’ll share in the guard barracks later on.”
Yes, I know it’s She-Ra, but there is no Adora figure of the right scale and type, so She-Ra must play both roles.
“Hi there! I don’t think we’ve met. You must be Roboto, Duncan’s newest invention. I’m Adora.”
“Prince Adam’s twin sister. It is a pleasure to meet you, Princess Adora.”
“Just Adora. After all, we’re friends by proxy, since my brother and your sister are… ahem… best friends.”
“Do you mind if I ask you a question? Why does your brother not like me?”
“Adam not like you? Don’t be silly! Adam likes everybody. Well, maybe not Skeletor and Hordak, but everybody who’s not a supervillain. He’s the friendliest person I know.”
“But Prince Adam does not like me and my sister does not like me either. I offered to come along on their patrol of the outer perimeter, but Prince Adam and Teela sent me away.”
“Well, of course they did. You see, Adam and Teela are not really patrolling the outer perimeter. That’s just an excuse to sneak away and spend some alone time together to cuddle and… well, you know.”
“Oh, I understand. My Uncle Malcolm said that Prince Adam and Teela like to exchange physical intimacies.”
“Yes, they’re sneaking off to have sex. The entire palace knows. Well, I mean my parents don’t know and I’m not sure about Duncan, but everybody else knows. There even is a betting pool when we’ll have a royal wedding.”
“Adora, can I ask you another question? Did your brother always like you?”
“Well, maybe not from the very start. After all, I shot him in the back the first time we met, back when I was still Force Captain Adora of the Evil Horde. But Adam always believed in me and told me that I didn’t need to be like Hordak and Shadow Weaver, that I could be better. And he always loved me and I love him.”
“Then why does my sister not like me?”
“Listen, Roboto, when I first came to Eternia, your sister did not like me either. Not because of anything I did, but because she was afraid that I would stand between her and Adam. But once she realised that I wasn’t going to take Adam away from her, we became good friends, almost like sisters.”
“I am not planning to exchange physical intimacies with Prince Adam, if that is what my sister is worried about. I am not even sure if that is physically possible.”
“Oh, I’m sure there’s an attachment for that. But this isn’t about Adam. It’s about your father.”
“Father? I don’t understand.”
“Teela is afraid that your father will love her less, now that he has you.”
“But that is not true. Father always talks about Teela, how much he loves her and how proud he is of her.”
“I know, but Teela doesn’t. Give her time, Roboto, and she’ll see that she hasn’t lost a father, but gained a brother.”
“Thank you, Adora. It is good to have at least one friend.”
Meanwhile, at the outer perimeter:
“You were right, it was a great idea to get away from it all. No Prince Adam, no Captain of the Guard, no He-Man, just you and me.”
“You talk too much. Just kiss me again.”
“As you wish, my lady.”
“Looks like the Prince has his hands full.”
“And his pants down, snicker.”
“I wouldn’t mind some of that myself. That Teela is one hot babe.”
“Evil-Lyn is prettier. And now come on, let’s get them, boys.”
“Hands up and lay down your weapons! You are now prisoners of Skeletor, Supreme Lord of Destruction.”
“We’re under attack. Adam, get behind me.”
“Not a chance. I can take care of myself. And I’m not leaving you to face them alone.”
“Shit, two of these guys are a bit much for Prince Adam to handle. Must become He-Man. But I can’t transform here and I can’t leave Teela to face them alone.”
“Stand back, Beast-Man! Ahhhh!”
“Teela, no! Okay, that’s it. By the Power of…”
TWAP!
“Not so tough now, are they?”
“Shut up and help me get them back to Shake Mountain. Skeletor will be pleased.”
“Listen, Randor, I’ve got your useless son and Duncan’s annoying daughter, too. If you, Duncan and He-Man don’t surrender to me, I will kill them both. And before I kill them, I’ll torture them until they beg for death.”
“This isn’t going to work Skeletor. My father thinks I’m a failure and he’s not going to negotiate with terrorists, least of all because of me. And He-Man isn’t going to show up either. I can assure you that.”
“And my father replaced me with a robot, so he’s certainly not going to give in to your demands.”
“Boss, can we play with them, just a little bit?”
“Yeah, and check if the Prince really has blue blood.”
“And what Teela is wearing under that outfit?”
“Enough. All right, where was I? Ah yes, torture. So who’s going to go first? The Prince or his plaything?”
“Take me and leave her alone.”
“Take me and leave him alone.”
“Such eagerness. Well, I’ll leave you to contemplate your fate amongst yourselves.”
“Looks like we’re screwed. My father can’t give in to Skeletor, even if he wanted to.”
“And my father replaced me with a robot.”
“And He-Man’s out of the picture, so it’s up to you and me.”
“Okay, I’ll create a diversion and you make a run for it.”
“No, I’m not leaving you here.”
“My sister and Prince Adam captured and in the hands of Skeletor. This is all my fault.”
“No, it’s mine. But we’ll get them out.”
“Damn right, it is your fault, Duncan.”
“Do you have any helpful ideas, Malcolm? No? Then just shut the hell up!”
“If we go on a rescue mission, I want to come, too. I will rescue my sister.”
“No, Roboto, we will rescue our siblings. So what’s the plan, Duncan?”
“Good to have you on board, She-Ra. What about you, Malcolm? You in?”
“You have to ask?”
“She-Ra, Roboto? Am I glad to see you guys.”
“Father, you came to rescue us?”
“Of course. I’d descend into Subternia itself to save my daughter.”
“Roboto, would you do the honours?”
“Of course, Father. Have no fear, Sister, I shall have you free in a minute.”
“Hurry up, cause here comes Skeletor.”
“All right, battle positions, everyone.”
“Catch, brother. Looks like it’s time for He-Man.”
“Can’t. Too crowded. Adam will have to do.”
“So we meet again, Fisto.”
“Indeed we do, Jitsu, and you’ll get another arse whopping.”
“Put your filthy hands on my daughter again, Keldor, and I swear that this time I will kill you.”
“Pah, you don’t have the guts, Duncan. You never did and neither does Prince Useless here.”
“Leave my sister alone, you hairy horror!”
“Get out of my way, rust bucket!”
“Mer-Man, honestly? Of all the Evil Warriors, I get Mer-Man? Was Evil-Lyn busy or what?”
“Shut up and feel the kiss of my blade, She-Ra.”
“Eat steel knuckles, shithead!”
“Get out of my way, Beast-Man. It’s your boss I want, not you.”
“So much for the great Mer-Man. Ugh, he stinks. Now who’s next?”
“Say good-bye to your daughter and Prince Adam, Duncan.”
“Leave my sister alone, fiend!”
BLAST! BOOM!
“Roboto, no!”
“No, Roboto. He… he jumped in fronht of Adam and me and shielded us from Skeletor’s blast. And now he’s…”
“I’m sorry, Teela, but we should get out of here, before Skeletor comes back.”
Later, in Duncan’s workshop:
“Can you fix him, Dad?”
“I don’t know. He absorbed the full power of Skeletor’s havoc staff.”
“Oh Adam, Roboto saved us both and I was so mean to him. And now he’ll never know… sniff… that I’m sorry and that it’s an honour to be his sister.”
“You can tell him yourself, Teela.”
“Roboto, you’re alive!”
“Yes, Sister, I am alive. And I am glad that you like me now. You do like me, do you not?”
“Of course, I love you, Roboto. You’re my brother, after all. And I’m sorry that I was so mean to you.”
“That is all right, Sister. Princess Adora explained everything.”
“She did?”
“And you do not have to worry. I do not intend to take our father’s love away from you nor do I intend to exchange physical intimacies with Prince Adam.”
“Uhm, that’s comforting, I guess.”
“Well, that went better than expected, Duncan. But now you’ll have to excuse me, cause I need a drink after all that excitement.”
“I can prepare tea for us. Father has a very nice tea set.”
“Sorry, Roboto, but I think I need something a bit stronger this time.”
***
I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story. There’ll be more stories, including the promised She-Ra story, since the Evil Horde is actually beginning to resemble its name by now.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.
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