Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre: “Consent Is Sexy, Harassment Stinks”

The promised epic She-Ra Master-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo story is coming, but in the meantime, here is another action figure photo story, inspired by the latest addition to my collection. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.

The small toy aisle at the German drugstore chain Rossmann has turned out to be an unlikely source of Masters of the Universe toys, because they tend to have even hard-to-find figures like Clawful or the Horde Trooper at regular prices. I didn’t find a Clawful during my last visit to the local Rossmann store, but I did get lucky and snapped up none other than Stinkor, Masters of the Universe‘s very own walking fart joke.

Stinkor is ready to envelop Eternia in his irresistible stench.

I never really had much of a connnection to Stinkor, probably because he did not appear in the He-Man and She-Ra Filmation cartoons of the 1980s (supposedly, Filmation thought the character was silly and refused to use him). He does have a small part in Masters of the Universe: Revelation – basically, he gets beaten up by Teela and Andra who divest him off his ill-gotten gains – and is even voiced by Jason Mewes of Jay and Silent Bob fame. The best on-screen appearance of Stinkor, however, was in the 2002 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon, which even gave the character with one of the silliest powers a plausible origin story, namely that he was a thief from a race of Ewok like beings who wanted to join Skeletor’s gang and suffered a lab accident which turned him into the character we know.

I was initially reluctant to get a Stinkor, because the artificial scents used in smelly toys tend to trigger my allergies. Never mind that my old Strawberry Shortcake toys from the 1980s still smell so intensely almost forty years later that they’re kept in a sealed plastic container lest they stink up my parents’ house. However, the modern Stinkor smells a lot less than his vintage counterpart to the point that I hardly get anything at all from him, though my sense of smell is severely impaired.

Stinkor is also one of the comparatively few skunks in popular culture. There is Flower from Bambi, a skunk-like Pokemon and of course that notorious sexual harasser Pepé Le Pew from Looney Tunes. It was the latter who inspired this story.

Somewhere in the Eternian wilderness:

“Come on, my pretty. Forget that idiotic Prince Adam and let me show you how a real Evil Warrior makes love.”

“Ugh, that stench…”

“Oh, she’s swooning already, overcome by my manly aura.”

“More like your infernal stench.”

“Let go off me, fiend!”

“Oh, so you want to play coy? And so spirited. I like that.”

“Hey you, leave my friend alone!”

TWAP!

“Thanks, She-Ra, but I could have handeled him.”

“Oh, I have no doubt of that. But what are friends for, if they can’t lend a hand or a sword in times of need.”

“Today, kids, we want to talk to you about consent. Stinkor tried to kiss me without asking me first. That’s not just rude, that’s harassment and assault. And assault is a crime. So, don’t be like Stinkor. Ask before you touch or kiss a girl.”

“Or a boy. Or any sentient being.”

“Cause you never know. The answer could be ‘yes’. Because consent is sexy.”

“So don’t be like Stinkor here…”

“Actually, my name is Odiphus. Stinkor is just what Skeletor calls me.”

“Which brings us to another important topic: Personal hygiene. Stinkor smells bad and never bathes, which is why no one likes him.”

“Meanwhile, my brother Adam takes a shower every day and everybody likes him.”

“Though he does tend to use up all the hot water after our combat training sessions.”

“You still make him do those combat training lessons? But you know he doesn’t need them.”

“He-Man may not need combat training lessons, but Adam sure does. What if he is separated from his sword?”

“You really put my brother through his paces, do you? I’ve seen Horde drill sergeants who were less intense than you.”

“All because I love him. Talking of which, He-Man always smell nice, even after a battle, because he cares about personal hygiene…”

“Ahem, actually that’s part of our powers.”

“It is? Now I’m jealous.”

“Anyway, don’t be like Stinkor. Take a bath or a shower and pay attention to your personal hygiene and people who are not Skeletor will like you.”

“Hey, I’m right here and I can hear you, you know? And besides, I only smell like this because of a lab accident at Snake Mountain.”

“You know what, She-Ra? I’m sick of this stench. Let’s get him locked up and go somewhere more pleasant.”

Later, in Man-at-Arms’ laboratory…

“That was a job well done and one more Evil Warrior in custody. Though my guards deserve a bonus for enduring that smell.”

“Can’t your father build an air filter or a stink-proof cell or something like that? Anyway, when you said, ‘Let’s have some tea at my Dad’s lab’, I expected beakers, flasks and test tubes, not fine china.”

“Oh that. The tea set was my grandmother’s and Dad is really weird about it. He wants to me to have it when I get married.”

“He does know that Adam has a whole palace full of silverware and glassware and fine china, doesn’t he? Talking of which, how are things between you and my brother? Any details I should know?”

***

I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story. There will be more stories, including the promised She-Ra story, since the Evil Horde is actually beginning to resemble its name by now.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.