If you missed my reading at the Space Cowboy Books Flash Science Fiction Night last Tueday, you now have the chance to listen to it again at the Space Cowboy Books YouTube Channel (with video) or at Bandcamp (audio only).
The story I read is called “Unemployed” and this is currently the only place where you can read/listen to it. The other two stories read at the Flash Science Fiction Night were “Reaction Shot” by Todd Sullivan and “Dead Matter” by Jana Bianchi. Make sure to listen to them, because both are great stories.
Meanwhile, the promised epic She-Ra Master-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo story is coming, but in the meantime, here is another action figure photo story, based on a story that I posted on Twitter a while back. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.
“Corporal, you will escort Prince Adam on his diplomatic mission to Avion and defend him with your life, if necessary. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Captain.”
“I can take care of myself, you know?”
“I am responsible for your safety, Adam, so the Corporal will accompany you.”
“And you’re sure you can’t come? Cause I’d rather have you by my side than him.”
“No, I have to stay her and oversee the training maneouvres of the palace guards. Safe travels, Adam.”
Later, en route to Avion…
“Aren’t you glad to have escaped Teela’s training maneouvres, Corporal? Cause I sure am. I mean, I love Teela, but she can be so exhausting…”
“What a catch! The boss will be pleased.”
“You take the guard and I take the Prince.”
“Ambush! Behind me, Your Highness! En garde, fiend!”
“By the Power of…”
SLAM!
“Victory is ours! The great God Cthulhu has smiled on us today.”
“Shut up and help me with the Prince, carp face.”
“Okay, you take the feet and I take the shoulders.”
“What about his sword?”
“Leave it. Uff, he’s heavier than he looks. Must be all the good food at the palace.”
Later, once it was becomes clear that Prince Adam never reached Avion…
“Owww, my head…”
“What happened, Corporal? Where is Prince Adam?”
“Ambush. Mer-Man and Beast-Man…”
“Adam’s sword. This is not good.”
“You had one job, Corporal, one job. Protect Prince Adam, with your life, if necessary. And you failed. I swear, if something happens to Adam, you will be scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life.”
“Yes, Captain.”
“Don’t be so hard on the Corporal, Teela. It wasn’t his fault.”
“I know. I should have gone with Adam. Oh Father, what if something happens to him?”
“We’ll find Adam and save him. I promise.”
Meanwhile, in the dungeons of Snake Mountain…
“All right, Randor, listen to me. I’ve got your worthless son. And if you don’t give me the throne you stole from me and the royal palace and the secrets of Castle Grayskull before sundown, I’ll cut off the boy’s head, send it to you in a box and feed the rest to my Evil Warriors. Of yes, and I want you crawling on your knees, as you surrender to me. And I want He-Man, too. On his knees, surrendering himself to my mercy.”
“This won’t work, Skeletor. My Dad thinks I’m a failure. He won’t give up the throne, not for me. And He-Man won’t come for me either, I can guarantee you that.”
“Of course, He-Man will come to rescue you. That bleeding heart muscle-bound oaf would come for anyone.”
“For anybody else maybe, but not for me. You see, He-Man and I… well, we both like the same girl and she likes him better than me.”
“Okay, so I lost my sword and can’t turn into He-Man. And Dad can’t give in to Skeletor’s demands, even if he wanted to, which I doubt. Looks like I’m really screwed this time. On the plus side, maybe Dad will give this democracy thing that Mom has been bugging him about a try now.”
Meanwhile, back at the royal palace…
“Okay, so this is the plan. My android duplicate of He-Man will distract Skeletor and then…”
“If your android He-Man works, you mean…”
“He will work. And now shut up, Malcolm. Anyway, the plan…”
“How can you all be so calm, when Adam is in danger? We must rescue him.”
“And we will rescue him, Teela, in due time.”
“Adam doesn’t have time. Haven’t you heard what Skeletor said? He’s going to cut his head off at sunset.”
“Ah, young love, so passionate…”
“Shut up, Malcolm.”
“I know you’re upset, Teela, but losing our heads won’t help Adam.”
“Great choice of words there, brother.”
“Shut up, Malcolm.”
“It’s all my fault. I should have gone with Adam.”
“Hmm, I guess I’d better take this sword, since Adam will need it.”
“I know how you feel, Teela. After all, Adam is my friend, too.”
“Then why aren’t you helping him, Ranius? Why are none of you helping Adam? Not even He-Man!”
“He-Man is… ahem… indisposed.”
“And She-Ra?”
“She’s on Etheria. The Sorceress has sent her a message, but…”
“She’s busy, I know. Everybody is too busy to save Adam.”
“Okay, I got the sword. Now how to sneak into Snake Mountain? I know, my magic teleportation spell. I just hope it works for once.”
“Well, if none of you are going to help, then I am going to rescue Adam, even if I have to do it alone.”
“Teela, wait…”
“Stubborn, just like her father.”
“Shut up, Malcolm!”
“Oh great, now Teela is putting herself into danger. She’ll only get herself captured and then we’ll have to rescue her, too. Why, oh why must she always be so stubborn?”
“Wonder who she got it from, Duncan.”
“Shut up, Malcolm.”
“Say, has one of you seen Orko? I could’ve sworn he was here only a moment ago.”
Meanwhile, deep in the dungeons of Snake Mountain…
“Orko, what are you doing here?”
“What’s it look like? I’m rescuing you.”
“I don’t suppose you can magically free me from these chains?”
“No, but I’ve got something better. Uh, sorry, not that.”
“Oh, that’s not it either. Sorry, Adam.”
“Orko, hurry up!”
The fan and the rose are Playmobil accessories, which do work with Masters of the Universe figures.
“Ah, now I’ve got it. Ta-da!”
“My sword! Now we’re back in business.”
“By the Power of Grayskull…”
“…I have the Power.”
SNAP!
“Ah, that’s better. Those chains were chafing. And now let’s get out of here.”
“Right behind you, He-Man.”
Meanwhile, in another part of Snake Mountain…
“Say, why are our dungeons covered in Delft tiles? Windmills and wooden shoes aren’t exactly scary.”
“The boss says, it’s because the blood is easier to wash off. Talking of which, do you think the Prince really has blue blood?”
“Well, we’ll know soon enough, once the boss cuts off his head. Bwahaha.”
“Intruder! Alert! Get her!”
“You’ll be cutting no one’s head off, monster!”
“I flattened the flounder, so it’s just you and me now, Beast-Man.”
“Bring it on, little girl! I’ll tear you limb from limb and then we’ll send your head back to the palace along with that of the Prince, bwahaha.”
“Allow me to deal with him.”
TWAP!
“He-Man, you came after all. But I thought…”
“Orko alerted me, so of course I came.”
“Where’s Adam? Is he…?”
“He’s safe, Teela. I freed him and told him to get the hell out of here. And I suggest we do the same.”
“Don’t tell Adam, but I was terribly worried about him. Cause I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed. I’m very good at keeping secrets, you know?”
“Oh, he absolutely is, snicker…”
Back at the palace…
“Adam, you’re safe! I was so worried…”
“I’m glad to see you, too, Teela.”
“Aww, young love…”
“Shut up, Malcolm.”
***
I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story. There will be more stories, including the promised She-Ra story, since the Evil Horde is actually beginning to resemble its name by now.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.
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“Shut up, Malcolm” always makes me laugh.
The Delft question was a good one.
Well, Malcolm does have a tendency to say out loud what everybody else is only thinking. 😉
The real world reason for the Delft style (it’s not real Delft) carafe is just that it’s suited really well to attach the chain, so it tends to pop up, and the accompanying jar makes a great table. But if you’re going to torture people something that’s easy to clean does make sense. And maybe Skeletor simply likes Delft tiles.