Fire and Pulp

There was some excitement at school today. When I walked into the building some fifteen minutes before the beginning of the afternoon classes, I was struck by how empty the place was. There were barely any students about. I could even put up a poster at the notice board without moving loitering students out of the way.

When I was in the copy room, another teacher came in and said, “Did you see? There’s a fire right across from the parking lot.” Now I don’t park at the main parking lot, so I hadn’t seen the fire. However, it explained why there were hardly any students at the school. They were all outside, watching the fire. A moment later, a boy I didn’t know came dashing into the administration tract in a laudable attempt to inform the assembled teachers and administrative staff of the fire.

In the end, the fire didn’t turn out overly dramatic. What happened was that a wooden garage on the premises of a local inn had caught fire. Some material damage, but thankfully no one was harmed. The afternoon classes weren’t disrupted either, though my students were a few minutes late.

When making what according to my memory is the first crossover of all three CSI franchises, one would think that the writers would come up with something better than a hackneyed human trafficking plot straight from the pulp era. Body parts dumped next to the highway, prostitutes “branded” like cattle with tattoos, young women (including at one point a well-off TV weathergirl) snatched from the streets and carted across the country in locked truck compartments, a bit of organ trafficking thrown in for good measure and, as the final insult, a professor of literature moonlighting as a pimp – oh please! My suspension of disbelief dropped right through the floor. I’ve seen prostitution and human trafficking plots very much like this one in films and pulp stories dating back to the thirties and forties and they seemed far-fetched even back then.

Never mind that the connecting plot centered on one of the vanished girls was terribly inconsistent. In CSI Miami the girl is first a murder suspect and then a desperate kidnapping victim leaving messages of “Help – He’ll kill me” in gas station restrooms. By the time, we get to CSI New York she’s a victim all the way, though too valuable to kill because she’s pregnant. In CSI Las Vegas, however, that same pregnancy suddenly ruins her value for the pimp that purchased her. For goodness sake, make up your minds! I was never a huge CSI fan, but by now they’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Finally, it was reported today that German actor Heinz Weiss died on Saturday aged 89. Predictably, most obituaries only mentioned Weiss’ role as a cruise ship captain in the long-running TV show Das Traumschiff (similar to Love Boat and just as unwatchable) and occasionally his role as an escaping POW in the World War II drama So weit die Füsse tragen (“As far as my feet will carry me”, which is pretty much the whole plot right there). Interestingly, Weiss also was in The Great Escape, probably relishing the opportunity to play a guard after having been the escaping POW for so long.

But for me, Heinz Weiss will always be Phil Decker, partner to George Nader’s G-Man Jerry Cotton in a series of film adaptions of the bestselling German pulp magazine series in the 1960s. And he will always be The Green Archer in Jürgen Roland’s stunning 1961 adaption of the eponymous Edgar Wallace novel. I’m a big fan of both the Jerry Cotton and Edgar Wallace adaptions and have written articles on both.

So rest in peace, Heinz Weiss, who was Phil Decker, the second coolest agent of the FBI, and the Green Archer.

Posted in Film, General, TV | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yet another quick drive-by post

I’m tired, so just a quick drive-by post:

Today, I was visiting my aunt at the care home where she is staying following a back operation and got mistaken for a doctor. When I left, one of the old ladies sitting in the common area stopped me. “Are you a doctor, miss?” I had my laptop with me, because my uncle wanted some photos burned on CD, and I suspect she mistook my laptop case for a doctor’s bag. I have one of those fancy Swiss laptop cases and the Swiss cross logo does look like a colour-reversed red cross.

And now for some links: Continue reading →

Posted in General, Links, Personal | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Rocks of History

Today, I prepared a text about Thanksgiving in the US for my students. I like to incorporate current events and national holidays into my lessons whenever possible. While writing about the Pilgrims and the first Thanksgiving (the actual lesson will include an explanation that the first Thanksgiving is just a myth, but it still makes for a good story), I remembered visiting Plymouth Rock a couple of years ago and how thoroughly underwhelmed I was. Because here in Northern Germany, pretty much every second village has a big rock with the founding date of the village engraved, so Plymouth Rock isn’t particularly impressive at all.

There is such a stone perhaps a kilometer from my home, commemorating the founding of Feine in 1201. Feine consists of approximately five farmhouses and a bus stop. The bus stop is named after the family in front of whose farm it is located. I went to school with a son of that family – we always used to joke that he had his own bus stop.

Yet this collection of five houses and a bus stop, so small that it barely deserves to be called a village, is older than any Western settlement in North America save the Viking settlements. And that’s why I found Plymouth Rock distinctly underwhelming, because even tiny Feine has a more impressive rock to offer.

Posted in General, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Dead Places

Since I don’t have school on Mondays, I picked up my Mom this morning for our semi-annual pilgrimage to the graves of my grandparents. Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Machine Translation

While checking my stats, I noticed that the visits to my site had gone up sharply over the weekend and that several visitors had googled my full name. Now that could’ve been anyone, an old classmate, distant relative, estranged friend, potential customer. Nonetheless, I wondered whether it wasn’t one of my students. I don’t normally use my first name at school, but it’s not exactly a secret either, so a student might have found out.

Now I am deliberately vague about my school work. I never name the school, let alone individual students. I sometimes recount stuff that happened at school, but I never mention anything that’s potentially embarrassing to the participants. Plus, my blog is in English, so the students won’t be able to understand more than a word here or there. I teach English, after all, so I know the extent of their language skills.

Anyway, I suddenly wondered whether the kids knew about Google Translate or Babelfish or similar automatic translation services. They’re not exactly difficult to find after all. So I pasted a blog entry about school stuff into Babelfish and Google Translate. The output from Babelfish was completely unreadable, though very funny. Google Translate was at least readable, though still pretty bad. Interestingly, Google translates “arseholes” as “Esel” (literally “donkeys”, figuratively “idiots”), while Babelfish uses the more accurate “Ärsche”. And no, the result wasn’t overly revealing either, not that I would have expected it to be. Most of the time, I only blog about books and films and writing anyway.

You occasionally hear claims, usually from the overly technophile pages of Wired, Scientific American or magazines like that, that computers will be able to fully replace human translators within five years or so. For some reason, whatever total and radical change these mags are promoting is always exactly five years away, just as global oil reserves will always run out in exactly twenty years and have been since the 1960s, which is a wholly different rant.

But while Google Translate and Babelfish are certainly an improvement compared to early attempts at machine translation – and machine translation was among the earliest applications attempted to develop for computers, at a time when computers were still the size of warehouses and the PC, let alone the internet or Google, were not even a mote in anybody’s eye. Nonetheless, one thing hasn’t changed since those very early attempts in the 1960s and that is that machine translation just isn’t very useful outside very strictly limited contexts (one of the few successful attempts was a Canadian program to translate weather forecasts from English into French and vice versa) or for a very rough overview, i.e. what Google Translate does. If you want translations with correct grammar, respecting linguistic nuances and free of unintentional howlers, you still need a human and will continue to need one for the foreseeable future.

Posted in General, Work | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Sick

No blogging today, because I seem to have caught some kind of bug and am not feeling too hot.

Working at a school means exposure to a lot of bugs, because schools are a hotbed of infections. Luckily, my immune system is pretty good and I do my best to minimize exposure to possible infections, but sometimes a virus will get through anyway.

Now I’ll get some rest, so my current wooziness won’t blossom into a full-blown cold or worse.

Posted in Personal | Tagged | Leave a comment

Steampunk viewed from the other side of the genre fence

Just in case anyone was wondering what readers from outside the SFF community are thinking about the currently Steampunk boom, romance reviewer Mrs Giggles is wondering what generic Steampunk romance will look like. The comments are well worth reading, too.

At the moment, Steampunk romance hybrids are still a comparatively small pool. There are perhaps ten or so Steampunk romances around, depending on what you consider Steampunk (and the romance definition of the term “Steampunk” is rather loser than the SFF definition), plus a couple of e-book only titles from the various romance e-presses. Yet Steampunk romance appears to be a growing trend, as evidenced by the fact that there are “What the hell is Steampunk?” discussions going on at all major romance sites at the moment. This interview about Steampunk with Meljean Brook from the Dear Author site is a particularly good example.

Is it coincidence that the current Steampunk backlash in the SFF community occurs at just the time that Steampunk is beginning the transcend the genre boundaries. Legitimate criticisms about Steampunk’s unquestioning acceptance of Imperialism and other less than savoury aspects of the Victorian era aside (and Steampunk did not have more of a social conscience, when it was just a mini subgenre), what really pisses off many genre bloggers is that Steampunk is getting recognition by the dreaded mainstream and that it is beginning to mix with other genres, including – gasp – romance. After all, nobody complained about urban fantasy either, when it was just a small subgenre about rock ‘n roll elves and magical homeless people in major North American cities. It’s only when urban fantasy started to transcend the fantasy genre and began incorporating elements of other genres, namely crime fiction and romance, and got popular that the backlash began. It’s speculative fiction’s version of the old indie band dilemma: Once an indie band starts getting popular beyond a very narrow cutting edge fanbase, the original fans start accusing the band of “selling out” and move on to the next obscure band, rinse and repeat. There is a sizeable number of people (and I don’t completely exclude myself here either) who simply cannot handle anything they like being discovered by others and gaining popularity.

Though of course, not every SFF writer is opposed to hybridisation and even to incorporating romantic elements in a speculative fiction tale. For a perspective from the other side of the genre fence, here is Tobias Buckell on writing a steampunk romance short story.

At any rate, it will be very interesting to watch where all this will go.

Posted in Books, Research, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Superhero Soap

As a longtime X-Men reader, I found this amusing: The many graves of Jean Grey. Though I would have thought there would have been even more graves. After all, I remember Jean experiencing a fairly brief “death” around 1991/92.

Though I’m not surprised that the X-Men dispensed with having a date chiseled onto Jean’s headstone. Aside from hiding the fact that she’s theoretically 56 years old by now, putting a date on any headstone of Jean’s is just a waste of money, since she never stays dead anyway. The “She will rise again” on the final (to date) headstone coupled with Cyclops’ “How many times have I done this anyway?” reaction was actually funny in a twisted way.

I also nodded at:

Hey, it’s X-Men! You can sum this stuff up but you’ll never believe that you’re actually saying it!

Because it’s so true. I occasionally ran into this problem in academic writing, when I was trying to sum up an extended narrative, e.g. a whole run of comic books, a series of novels, a whole season of a TV show (and as a scholar of popular culture, you have to do a lot of summing up, because you cannot expect your whole audience to be familiar with the Star Wars films or Twilight or whatever), and inevitably found myself thinking, “Oh my God! This summary sounds totally batty, even though the books/films/comics actually made sense at the time.” In one case, I actually quoted someone else’s summary cum commentary – with proper citations, of course – so I didn’t have to do it myself.

Though I suspect that “If summed up, it sounds totally crazy” is not an inherent quality of the SFF genre, but rather the natural result of extended serialized narratives in any genre. Summing up the events in a soap opera (and then they got married, divorced, he had an affair with his wife’s evil twin sister, while she got amnesia and became a hitwoman for the mob) without sounding like a seriously disturbed person is as impossible as summing up a lengthy run of X-Men comics, even though the soap opera takes place in the real world, supposedly at least.

Come to think of it, I always used to refer to the X-Men comics as “a soap opera with superpowers, just as addictive and so much cooler”.

Posted in Comics, Links, Research | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Teaching Writing

I’ve been lobbying for creative writing classes at almost every place I taught, whether at university or high school level. Partly this is because I love writing and I love teaching writing. Besides, I also believe that creative writing can be enormously beneficial in so many areas in life. There’s even research to back me up, in German even, which I routinely cite to head teachers and other people in charge, when trying to persuade someone to let me teach creative writing to their students.

Alas, so far I haven’t been able to persuade anyone to let me teach a creative writing class. However, I try to incorporate writing into my regular classes whenever possible. Since I teach ESL, I can’t do that with every class, because some kids simply haven’t reached a sufficient language level yet. However, if the skill level is high enough, I include free writing exercises in my lessons. And the kids usually enjoy it, even if some have initial reservations.

With my class today, I did a “Write a story in four steps” exercise called the Instant Story Machine. The exercise is based on a PowerPoint presentation. I had to take my laptop to school today anyway, because I had promised my aunt and uncle to visit them after school and burn some photos on CD for them, so I could just as well do the PowerPoint exercise. Continue reading →

Posted in Work, Writing | Tagged , | 1 Comment

A Day on the Town

Since I didn’t have any classes today, I finally got around to picking up my certified translator diploma. I already passed the exam in late September, but since I work at a school and the office where I had to pick up my diploma is open only during school hours, it took until now for me to get around to picking it up.

“So what are you going to do now?”, the lady at the office asked me.

“Uh, some more translations.” As a matter of fact, when I came home there was already a translation job waiting for me. Nothing particularly long or difficult, just a flyer for cargo handling gear with lots of pictures and little text.

Since I was in Bremen anyway (I live just outside the city), I took the opportunity to do some shopping. Continue reading →

Posted in Books, Personal, Research, Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment