Yes, I’ve finally made another Toy Photo Story.
It was inspired by the fact that Skydance Media, the rightwing media conglomerate that gobbled up Paramount and Warner Bros and everything connected to them, just became more hated than they already are, when they abruptly fired James Gunn and Peter Safran as heads of DC Studios, nipping their efforts at finally making good and interesting DC Comics based movies and TV shows in the bud. Worse, they replaced Gunn and Safran with a guy who wants to make Christian superhero that appeal to his grandma.
As a result, lots of people were talking about Skydance on social media. However, there are a lot of other things named Skysomething. And as a result, quite a few people got Skydance, the evil media conglomerate, mixed up with some of the other things named Skysomething. Particularly, the comic publisher Skybound frequently got mixed up with Skydance, probably because the latest issue of their popular Transformers comic just dropped today.
So I made this Toy Photo Story, where the Transformers character Skywarp gets quite annoyed at constantly being confused with Skydance Media and other things named Skysomething and decides to set the record straight.
So listen, as Skywarp offers us – in his own words – an…
Explainer
“Greetings fleshlings – ahem, Earthlings – ahem, humans. I am Skywarp, warrior of Decepticon Seeker airforce under the command of our mighty Lord Megatron and the equally mighty Air Commander Starscream, and I am here to clear up some confusion:
First of all, we Decepticons are not evil. That is slander by the vile Autobots. Lord Megatron is a freedom fighter, battling to free Cybertron from the tyranny of the Primes. He’s even – like – written books and poems about that. Not that I read any of that stuff, I’m just here for the mayhem. But I’m not evil.”
“This is Skyward, a novel by the Fleshling author Brandon Sanderson. I haven’t read it myself, but my brother Thundercracker, who enjoys Fleshling culture, assures me it’s pretty good. Still, please don’t confuse me with this Fleshling novel. I am Skywarp, not Skyward.”
Yes, amazingly I don’t have a single Luke Skywalker figure in my collection.
“This is Luke Skywalker. He’s a Jedi Knight and an annoying Fleshling do-gooder who keeps getting involved in stuff that doesn’t concern him. Though his metal companions assure me he is all right… for a Fleshling. However, I am not him. I am Skywarp.”
“This is Skybound. They publish comics, including comics about the Great Cybertronian War. Of course, it’s the usual Autobot propaganda and they keep slandering Lord Megatron. And besides, Thundercracker would never defect and Starscream would never do THAT to me. Though the artwork is nice. They make me and my brothers look like the handsome Seekers that we are. But while Skybound publishes comics about me and my comrades, I am not them. I am Skywarp.”
“This is Skydance Media. They are evil. They are exactly the sort of evil empire everybody things we Decepticons are. Everyone hates them, even the Autobots, and by Primus, I swear we shall crush them, if they bring that Fleshling Michael Bay back to recount our history and make us all look like twisted garbage. So if you value your lives, fleshlings, don’t confuse me with them.”
“So to sum it up: I am Skywarp and I am not evil, no matter what the Autobots say. Skyward, Skybound and Luke Skywalker are not really evil either, though sometimes misguided and annoying. Skydance Media, however, is evil. So please, Fleshlings, don’t get us mixed up or I will hunt you down and squash you. This I swear, by Primus, by the Allspark and by the Revolutionary Miner’s Manifesto by our Mighty Lord Megatron.”
During the previous Transformers comic run, Thundercracker leaves the Decepticons, settles on Earth, becomes a filmmaker and adopts a dog. So I gave him a dog.
“Hey, Skywarp, what’s up, brother?”
“I’m just explaining to the Fleshlings that I am Skywarp and not Skyward, Skybound, Skywalker or Skydance.”
“I feel your pain, brother. The humans keep calling me Thunderbolt, Thunderhawk or Thunderclash rather than Thundercracker.”
Wuff.
“Yes, I know, Buster. You would never get me confused with anybody else. Good dog.”
***
So now you hopefully know that the far right media conglomerate is called Skydance Media and not Skywarp, Skyward, Skybound or Skywalker.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.
sending...