It’s time for another Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo story. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.
Last year, I posted a Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Pride Month Special called “Fisto’s Significant Other”, in which Fisto and Ram-Man announce that they are a couple. This is only my head canon BTW, but the various cartoons hint quite strongly that Fisto as well as various other heroic warriors are not straight. And besides, they do make a cute couple.
Eternia’s favourite gay couple, Fisto and Ram-Man
Therefore, I decided to do another Pride Month Special featuring fan favourite Malcolm a.k.a. Fisto and his significant other Ram-Man a.k.a. Krass. Especially since I had just picked up the new Masterverse Deluxe Ram-Man figure.
So enjoy…
Ambush in the Mystic Mountains
In the Mystic Mountains:
Yes, I included a Delftware snail as a little Easter egg. As a kid, I used to collect snails – real life snails – so a neighbour gave me the Delftware snail as a gift.
“Ah, the Mystic Mountains, my old stomping grounds. Back when I thought that miner was a more viable profession than Master of the Universe. I mean, it’s certainly safer, even with all the cave-ins, glowing evil gems and the occasional Arachnid attack. But there’s no Skeletor, no Evil Horde, no Snake People…”
“Right, who am I kidding? I always knew that I couldn’t just hang up my sword and walk away from my hero days. After all, someone’s got to keep an eye on Duncan and he’s never going to walk away. And Teela, of course. And Prince Adam, since Duncan aparently adopted him. Besides, I like being a Master of the Universe. Okay, not the constant attacks and ever-present danger, but I like hanging out with the other Masters, feasting, drinking, watching Orko’s magic tricks or one of Manny’s performances. And then there’s Krass…
“Halt! Thou shalt not pass without paying road toll to Whiplash, King of the Caligars.”
“You’re not King of the Caligars, Whiplash. Your brother Ceratus is and he hates your guts. And now let me pass or eat steel knuckles. Cause this is my holiday and I’m really not in the mood.”
“Oh, I’ll let you pass, once you’ve paid the road toll. And since you’re a Master of the Universe, I’ll give you an extra discount. I’ll only take your head and that iron fist of yours. They’ll look great on my trophy wall.”
“So you want to fight? Okay, shithead, then eat steel knuckles.”
“Shut up and fight!”
“No one tells me to shut up. Except my brother Duncan and that’s only because I like him. And now bring it on, arsehole!”
CLASH! CLATTER! SLAM!
“Ha! Axe beats sword.”
“Yeah and fist beats jaw. Say goodbye to those tusks.”
“You’ve got to get close to me first. And you’re not fireproof. And now say goodbye to your head, Fisto.”
“Hey, that’s my man you’re threatening. Leave him alone or I’ll ram you into the ground.”
“Get lost, you puny little man! This is between me and Fisto.”
“If you pick a fight with Malcolm, you pick a fight with me.”
“Oh yeah? Your armour can protect you from my torch, but it won’t protect you from my axe. And your head will look great on my trophy wall as well. Maybe I’ll put it right next to Fisto’s.”
“Oh no, you won’t.”
PUNCH! SLAM!
“Crap! Two Masters are too much for me alone. I should’ve brought Clawful. Or Beast-Man. But then I’d have to share the loot with them.”
“Yeah, run away and crawl back to Snake Mountain like the coward that you are.”
“And tell Skeletor that he can lick me in the arse!”*
“Uhm, actually that sounds kind of disgusting, Malcolm.”
Unfortunately, the male Masters of the Universe figures are a bit too bulky to hug or kiss, though they can gaze deep into each other’s eyes.
“Are you all right, Malcolm?”
“I’m fine. Just a few bruises and a dented sword. But what are you doing here, Krass?”
“I was visiting my brother and his family. And since I was here in the Mystic Mountains already, I thought I could join you. Good thing that I did.”
“And it never occurred to you to take me along when you visit your family?”
“Uhm, I never thought you wanted to meet my family. They’re kind of boring and also still sore that I left to join the Royal Guard.”
“They’re your family, so of course I want to meet them. And besides, you know my family.”
“Yeah, because your brother is also my boss. But yes, if you want to meet my family, I’ll take you to see them. They don’t live far away, only beyond that mountain.”
“I’d love to meet them, Krass. And talking of family, I’d better call Duncan to let him know that Whiplash is waylaying travellers in the Mystic Mountains.”
***
In the 2002 cartoon, Malcolm is first seen working as a miner in the Mystic Mountains. Well, actually he’s first seen in a bar, getting drunk and picking fights, but it’s implied that he left the Eternian Guard to become a miner, before running into his brother and the Masters of the Universe during a mission brings him back into the fight and also costs him his hand.
Malcolm’s offer that Skeletor may lick his arse is of course a paraphrase of the famous line that Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote for that other iron-fisted warrior, 15th century rebellious German knight Götz von Berlichingen. I have no idea if Götz von Berlichingen was an inspiration for Fisto – and I even asked someone who’d worked on the Masters of the Universe toyline once – but the parallels are notable.
Whiplash, the reptilian Evil Warrior with the mighty tail, is shown to be a member of a subterranean species called the Caligar in the 2002 cartoon, though why a species of aligator people is living in caves rather than in a swamp is never explained.
Whiplash ready to take on the world.
I recently found the brand-new Masterverse Whiplash figure at Smyths Toys (chain that took over the European Toys R Us stores) and took him home. The purple armour and helmet are based on some very early concept art for the character. I think the colour contrast looks great on him. What is more, I had completely forgotten that Whiplash gave his minicomic debut fighting Fisto.
***
And that’s it for today, folks. I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story, because there will be more.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.
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Ah, the return of “Shut up, Malcolm”!
I mean, even in the early 80s, everyone over 12 got the double meaning of Fisto. So the hints that he’s not straight were to be expected.
I faintly recall reading somewhere that the Mattel people showed up with a prototype of their brand-new character Fisto at the offices of Filmation, who made the cartoon, and proudly announced that the character was called Fisto. The Filmation people near burst out laughing, until they realised that the Mattel representative really had no idea about the double meaning. Besides, a lot of Filmation’s staff was apparently LGBTQ and so they snuck in references that are quite obvious to anybody in the know.
Though when rewatched today, a lot of 1980s cartoons – not just Filmation, but all of them – are full of characters that are implied to be gay, including gay coupled raising kids. Defenders of the Earth and M.A.S.K. even gave us interracial gay couples raising kids.