Before we get to the story, I have two links to share. To begin with, I was at the Hugos There podcast, discussing the 2022 Hugo winner for Best Novel A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine with host Seth Heasley. For more about the Hugos There podcast, see my interview with Seth as part of the Fancast Spotlight project.
Last month, I was also over at Galactic Journey, reviewing the 1968 Hugo winner for Best Novel Lord of Light by Roger Zelazny as well as Easy Go, a 1968 heist novel by Michael Crichton, writing under the pen name John Lange (which ironically is the real name of the author writing under the pen name John Norman, author of the Gor novels). These early Michael Crichton novels are remarkably good (I discussed a few of them at the SFFAudio Podcast) and in fact I gave the obscure thriller a higher rating than the Hugo winning novel. But then, Lord of Light hasn’t aged very well and is a typical example of clueless 1960s appropriation of Asian culture.
Talking of the SFFAudio Podcast, I also at discussed the Robert E. Howard story “Isle of Pirate’s Doom”, which is one of the stories that were never published in his lifetime, on an episode that dropped recently.
Finally, let’s get to the meat of the post, for today I have not one but two new Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre photo stories for you. That said, both stories are quite short, so I decided to run them as a double feature. The name “Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre” was coined by Kevin Beckett at the Whetstone Discord server.
Both stories were inspired by Masters of the Universe: Revelation. At the beginning of episode 2, Teela and her new partner Andra are working as mercenaries and are hired to repossess a stolen magical object called “the Glove of Globula”, when they run into an old acquaintance of Teela’s, namely none other than Stinkor, one of the weirder Evil Warriors even by Masters of the Universe standard.
Now I happened to find a cheap Stinkor at Smyths Toys (Irish chain that took over the European Toys R’ Us stores, after Toys R’ Us folded). And since I already had Teela and Andra, I decided to recreate that scene. However, I didn’t have a Glove of Globula or anything that remotely looked like it, so I decided to go with a different sacred relic.
Precious
In Stinkor’s lair:
“Ugh, this place stinks, Tee.”
“Comes with the territory, Andra. Let’s just grab what we came here for and get out.”
“What do you want? Get out! This is my home, my hoard, my precious. And now get out, you mean mercs!”
“All right, Stinkor, just hand over the sacred shoes of Frau Antje, Goddess of Cheese and we’ll be gone.”
“There’s a Goddess of Cheese?”
“It’s a fringe cult, but they pay well. And now hand over the shoes, Stinkor, and no one gets hurt.”
“No, my precious! You can’t have them. They’re mine, mine. My precious!”
“What do you want with those shoes? You’ve can’t even wear them, cause you’ve got clawed feet.”
“You don’t understand. They remind me of Skeletor and I miss him so much. Sniff.”
“Is he… crying?”
“Who cares? Let’s just grab the shoes and get out!”
“Good idea. That stench is making me nauseous.”
“Noooo! My precious! I’ll get you for this.”
***
Bonus: Stinkor in his natural element:
“It’s better to rule the trash heap than serve in Eternos Palace.”
***
The second mini-story is also inspired by Masters of the Universe: Revelation. The Sword of Power has been split in two and all magic has drained out of Eternia, slowly killing the planet. In order to restore the magic and Eternia, the Sword of Power must be reforged. And the one chosen to fulfil this vital task is none other than Roboto, a sentient robot built by Duncan and therefore Teela’s brother of sorts. Roboto succeeds, too, but at a terrible cost, because the power surge resulting from reforging the magical blade destroys his robot body and he expires in the arms of his sister Teela and her friend Andra.
Now I ordered the Revelation version of Roboto from Amazon and he happened to be delivered in the same package as a famous fantasy novel with a very appropriate title, namely The Broken Sword by Poul Anderson from 1954. So I decided to make a story of it.
The Broken Sword
“A broken sword, you say? No problem. I can fix it. I have Father’s skills after all and he is the best weapons smith in all of Eternia.”
“Roboto, do you remember what happened the last time you tried to fix a broken sword?”
“Yes, I died and discovered that I could feel fear. And I helped to save the universe, too. That was a good day.”
“Not for us. So no more sword fixing, Roboto, unless you’re perfectly sure it’s safe.”
“But Father fixed me. Father can fix anything.”
***
That’s it for today, folks. I hope you enjoyed this Masters-of-the-Universe-Piece Theatre Photo Story Double Feature, because there will be more.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters, I just bought some toys, took photos of them and wrote little scenes to go with those photos. All characters are copyright and trademark their respective owners.
There must be actual goddesses of cheese. As the Prophet Brian may or may not have said, “Blessed are the cheesemakers”.
Frau Antje is the goddess of cheese (seen here talking to the blessed cow) and Brian is her prophet. After all, Frau Antje even has her own YouTube channel.
Regarding, “Blessed are the cheesemakers”, Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” was my confirmation verse. And since everybody in my confirmation class had already seen The Life of Brian at that point, you can imagine the jokes.